THE QUESTION...

For most of our single life, our weight issues are just that - OUR weight issues. Something private to agonise over in bed every night. 
  
Then one day, my daughter came home from nursery and asked me,
"Mummy, are you fat?"

*fireworks in my mind*

All you mummies out there will know exactly how I felt at that moment. Slightly embarrassed because you failed to be the prettiest mum, gobsmacked that she noticed, and wondering how to respond. I simply said,

"I am a bit."

So that was over 4 years ago.  

Since then, I have gotten fatter than I ever imagined I could be.

It was ok for awhile. I lived in my bubble of yoga-pant SAHMotherhood where it was acceptable to be slightly disheveled. Even after my son was born, I would rationalise  "I've just had a baby", or "I'll go on a diet after I stop breastfeeding". This very soon turns into the old routine of promising that to diet tomorrow, the next day and the next.

Being a SAHM was also much more demanding that I ever imagined. No tai tai teas and fashion shows. It was all nappies and vomit and tears. Child rearing is such a gargantuan task that you have every valid excuse in the book to have a fast meal and not exercise. 

But slowly, I grew used to that fat girl in the mirror I didn't recognise. She became the new me. No mirrors, no photos allowed. I even developed a thick skin to friends who would look at my belly and start, "Are you...?" to which I would always say, "No baby, just fat!". Or my charming kids who announce to total strangers that "Mummy has a squishy bum." 

Lovely.

So why am I starting this blog again?

Yesterday morning, I saw this local ex-actress at a cafe. She used to be very sexy with a great body. After quitting acting for motherhood, I heard she had put on alot of weight. I saw her 10 years ago and was shocked by her size. Yesterday, I was shocked once again. She had grown so big that I almost could not recognise her face.

She was sitting there alone, literally spilling out of the small cafe chair, stuffing her face with a full three course meal at 10am. 

Maybe part of me recognised myself in her. Fat beyond recognition of her previous self. Eating away to numb the failure that is the fat suit everyone can see. 

The image of her stuck with me the whole day. 

I told myself - I do not want to end up like that.

THE PLAN

Every diet starts out with a plan. I'm not going to use Atkins or Southbeach or any other book plan; I'm going to use my extensive knowledge of diet plans, gleaned from a lifetime of dieting, to formulate my own plan.

I know it's better to not have 'restrictive' rules, that start with 'Don't' or 'No'. These will only make the forbidden items more enticing. Hence my rules are positives. The DOs rather than DO NOTs.

So here are my rules to self:

1. Drink 8 glasses of water everyday
2. Exercise weekly - Zumba, Cardiofit etc
3. Stick to 1200 calorie a day (using MyFitnessPal)
4. Eat 2 'units' of veg a day
5. Have a daily meal plan!!
6. Weigh in on Wednesdays. 

That's it! Does it look too simple? Trust me, it's not as easy as it looks! 

I'm too shy to share my starting weight with you, but I will share my goal with you. I want to shed 30kg. 

Sounds impossible! But let's take it slow. 

First mini-goal - lose 5kg.

Ready.... Set.... GO!!